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How I learned to abandon myself - Nonsense
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Subject:How I learned to abandon myself
Time:12:14 pm
The night started off in a very promising fashion; I was invited to this Halloween party by a few very nice senior girls and me, being a sophomore, would have committed social suicide by not attending; but that would be denying the fact that they offered me pot, and I was all to happy to join them in their quest for high-desert bliss. I entered their quaint abode a few minutes before we were supposed to go to this Halloween Carnival. I didn’t know allot about what the plans were but I was swept away in the idea of smoking pot for the first time in about six months (before I must mention that I only smoked brown) first hit was mine and I felt honored; I didn’t know that I was supposed to pull the carb out and got stares of question for not doing so. The stuff hit me like a freight train barreling down rusted lines set up from in beginning of the mechanical era; untravled for many years and not without its innate air of danger. When down stairs it hit me the hardest, I began seeing this magnifying rectangle moving about in my peripheral vision and things coming quickly in and out of focus, logic and proportion left me when i was walking down the stairs.
After a very beautiful car ride that felt like a space trip through a familiar neighborhood I ended up at my old elementary school wondering what was happening. By Halloween carnival my hostesses meant one at an elementary school. Terror crept steadily up my spine as I thought about what horrors would befall me in a room trapped with a thousand strange noises and a thousand bizarre children in costumes designed to instill horror. I had a great deal of trouble at the door buying tickets as I didn’t have the ability to make change and people were quickly confusing me by tugging at the very core of my being. Inside the carnival itself came the true sense of fear and abandonment, popcorn popping, children running in costumes, and me feeling like a giant was really starting to toy with my tether to reality. I began to mumble something like, "Oh fuck what’s happening Perry?" but my hostess was consumed with her purchase of cotton candy.
Then all at one my other hostess said, "Hey lets go on the jungle ride." I was deathly afraid of the jungle, I could hardly handle what I was being fed now without screaming incoherently about the world crumbling all about me, this was too much.
My last bit of fettering fear and reason caused me to leak out the words, "I don’t really want to go on the Jungle ride, I am freaking out a little." The each let loose a soft chortle and relating to my current experience.
"Its cool just wait near by," Perry comforted me in a very spiritual way that touched my very core and I could figure out why she was being so kind to me, even though I believed I was ruining their time.
I waited at the start of the jungle ride when all at once the wrong person encountered me, a close droog from school on, at the time, a strictly anti-drug policy (mostly because of his girlfriend who was also with him) and dressed in Alex DeLarge garb from A Clockwork Orange. I couldnt grasp anything he said as he spoke using adjectives that I knew but couldnt keep track of. He began to interrogate me and I could understand; his girlfriend crept up from behind in what was probably the most disconcerting outfit she could wear in my situation, The Black Angel Of Death, fear started shooting into my mainline again and I drank deep from it. I snuck him into the bathroom and told him my situation when I thought things were safe seeing as I felt I needed help as everything was going vastly wrong for me as his head came quickly in and out of focus. He showed me to the door and I started home on very rhythmic feet.
My hostesses caught me half way to my home and drove me to McDonalds for some late night bliss. The strange mixture of the food scratching my throat and the most wonderful taste, I thought, was a perfect metaphor for my night. They put on a tape of Sublime and I envisioned a stick man dancing in a pool of electric paint to the music; I was bliss once more. The stopped next to pick up a very friendly baby that stared at me with the hatred of a thousand unavoidable deaths caused by my clumsiness and lack of concern for lesser-life forms. I felt rightfully reprimanded for my atrocious deeds. I went back to the same house as I lit up and ate; sharing my food with the omniscient child willing to forgive.
After an hour of broken conversation, and spacing out to the movements of a lava-lamp and how it conformed beautifully with the movements and expressions of the baby, I asked to go home.
The night left an unfamiliar taste in my mouth but I felt enlightened and ready to face head on whatever daunting irregularities I may face in the world. I also bought some of their weed and got tips for making an apple pipe.
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ourxheartsx
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Time:2004-01-08 06:49 pm (UTC)
tips from me, yes?

i love this story, by the way.
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How I learned to abandon myself - Nonsense
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